Is Everyone Struggling, like me, to rely on God?

This is another Covid-19 journey blog. It is a blog about being real. It is a blog about the seemingly slow way in which I come to rely on my loving Father, and the work of His Son, Jesus, through the indwelling Holy Spirit.

God knows my weaknesses. Ps 103:1 “For He Himself knows our frame;
He is mindful that we are but dust.” (NASB) But I don’t think that I understand it myself., at least not like David did.

A Song of Ascents, of David.
O LORD, my heart is not proud, nor my eyes haughty;
Nor do I involve myself in great matters,
Or in things too difficult for me. Surely I have composed and quieted my soul;
Like a weaned child rests against his mother,
My soul is like a weaned child within me. Ps 131:1-2 (NASB)

Last night, I found a roll of natural disinfecting wipes under the toolchest. I was delighted. I didn’t need to struggle with my own heart about buying them if I saw them. God had provided. Jehovah Jireh. And He knew that I would need them (1Cor 13:12 or Ps 139:1 or Ps 139:16)

This morning, I made my way out to the car, worrying about my car and my truck, corrosion caused by ethanol just sitting there, worried about “will they start?” And on the way back in, worried that my “all natural” antiseptic wipes might not be as good as the Clorox ™ ones.

And I beat myself up for where I am in learning to rest with and in Him. Forgetting Phl 1:6 “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” (NASB). It ain’t the day of Christ Jesus yet, so I ain’t done. Even there, He knew that I needed assurance that He knew me. That I would need freed from shame when He showed me that I ain’t there yet. And He provided these verses.

Postscript: Up above, in the last paragraph, I wrote “… learning to rest with Him”. I went to change it, because it sounded like He was in His recliner throne, kicked back with the game on. So, I started to change “with” to “in”, and Holy Spirit stopped me. It is important to realize that He can be closer to us than ever as we are scared out of our wits with the Covid-19 and still be at perfect peace. It is probably, more accurate, but still fuzzy that He is giving more grace than ever so that we can realize that He is close, but you get the picture. He is not breaking a sweat. He is holding us tight, like a father holds a terrified young child who was spooked by a shadow that moved. The Father is oblivious to His needs, He just is focused on the child. Calming them. Reassuring them that He is right here. I can rest in Him, because He is resting, confident.

PPS I have always imagined The Father and Jesus on ornate, gold and precious stone encrusted, uncomfortable looking thrones. My heart just broke a little. I really hope that they have comfortable thrones.