This is part of my journey towards the Identity Exchange Catalyst program, but it is also one of those times when I recognize that the Lord has been driving pilings of truth into the soft ground of my life. The fact that the verse is on the cover of one of my son’s bibles is because I put it there. My son was about to head to a Christian college, where I knew the larger forces of academia had some sway. So, I put John 16:13 along with his name, on the cover of a new parallel bible (NIV/NKJV) that I had gotten him
“But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come.” (NASB95)
I knew that I have had to depend on the fact that Holy Spirit will guide me into all truth, many times. Sometimes, in spite of myself. And the journey towards Identity Exchange Catalyst program is no exception. About the same time that I started listening to the Identity Exchange podcasts on YouTube, I heard three other channels that had a lot on identity, getting our identity from God, and what our identity is when we are “in Christ” (Dan Mohler). The other channels are more of a collaboration between Taylor Welch, and Wendy Backlund.
Dan Mohler, as well as, Taylor Welch, and Wendy Backland all point our that in average Christianity, we have a lot of things backwards. It is like we are afraid to let ourselves really believe some of the things in the bible that are more difficult to understand, like we are a new creation, not a refurbished creation. We look at the old covenant, and prayers and practices there, and imitate them, even though the pouring out of Holy Spirit on all flesh was a very big deal to Jesus and The Father, so maybe we should expect something very new and different, under the new covenant, and with Holy Spirit. Taylor Welch, and Wendy Backland tackle more of the separation that the church made during the Enlightenment, and since. Slowly, people are looking at science, as it gets more precise in describing the design, especially of people. The Winships seem to take that to the heart of asking the Designer, what our purpose is. And I love that about them.
Jaime and Donna Winship have been on The Deep End w/ Taylor Welch as well.
But, if you are like me, you know Holy Spirit will be needed to bring some things together, especially for my design, my identity.
There are a few truths in scripture, that I just accept, and trust. John 16:13 is one of them. John 16:12 is also another one, that, in my experience, is kind of neglected. ““I have many more things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now.” It sort of describes the need for His sheep to continue to hear His voice. It also sets the stage for that The Lord revealing our identity may be progressive.
What I will share now is how the Lord has helped me to understand how sure John 16:13 is. As I have mentioned before, to honor the non-verbal, more relational side of the brain, some of these may be memories. Experiences with The Lord, where He was connecting this verse to my life.
The first time that the Lord made this real was from when my son was only 2. It was a stressful time that had been building. My son was only 2, and his mom had told me that she was thinking of divorcing me. We were going to Christian counselors. We had the chance to meet with some amazing mentors who followed Jesus, and had the wisdom of years on their side as well. But, in an honest look at myself, I had some serious distortions about God, who He was, and what He wanted. I admired some Christians who were zealous for The Lord, and some of them were legalistic. I was reading my bible a lot. And when I ran across things that I didn’t understand, I decided just to follow them, and let the Lord inform me by Holy Spirit if I was off. My wife tried to be understanding. She tried to admire the dedication to the Lord that I had. She tried gently to point some of those things out. She was also influenced by 2nd wave feminism and seemed to lean on her own understanding, and feel a compulsion to judge. Overall, it was tragic. We were both immature. We both had distortions. And, honestly, the enemy had our number, and successfully pitted us against each other, even as we battled to save our home and our marriage.
So, it was a time of stress, and I was mowing the yard. My son was only 2, and my wife was keeping him indoors while I mowed. He wanted to be outside with me. He was fascinated by the lawn mower. And so, as soon as I had finished, when I shut the mower off, my wife let him out. I still wanted to get the mower cleaned up to put it away, and had the mower ready to tip up and flush underneath with the hose. But my wife had not come out with our son. She had just let him out. And he was *fascinated* by the lawn mower. He seemed especially drawn to the slightly glowing muffler. And, though I had the hose in my hand, I hadn’t turned the water on. The spigot was somewhere behind me, and I couldn’t seem to find it without turning around. But, I couldn’t turn around because of my son’s interests.
So, I tried to explain to him in 2 year old language. “No touch”, “Big Owwie”, “Hot”, “Big Owwie”. He seemed like he understood, and would keep his distance, so I spun around, and turned the spigot on quickly, but before I could turn back, the wail started. And he was looking at the tip of his finger. My wife came running. He was scooped up, and rushed inside to put his hand under cold running water. And the rest was the best that we could do, which, was probably pretty good. Later, I got ready to go and meet with one of our mentors. They were in town for services at a local church, and Delores had met my wife the night before. I was going that night, and had taken a shower to get cleaned up. As I was getting ready the Lord asked me “Why didn’t you tell Dan that he would probably get a 2nd degree burn if he touched the lawn mower muffler?” He used those words. I basically realized that the question was absurd, but did say that I said that, but was trying to put it in terms that Dan would understand.
And then suddenly we weren’t talking about our son, and the lawnmower, but instead about me, and what I had treated literally in the bible, which had been legalistic in retrospect. Things which had hurt my wife, and our marriage. There was no condemnation there. I was dealing with scripture in an immature way. Not really knowing how to read it *with* Holy Spirit, but just trusting His leading, and that I would eventually get there. I had been understanding at a “No Touch”, “Hot”, and “Big Owwie” level. By then, in some areas, I was understanding more at the 2nd degree burn level, but I understood that John 16:13 was something that was continuous. If we stay open, and don’t say that our own understanding is enough, then He will keep leading and revealing, and we will keep learning. It is only more recently, that I have come to understand how that “keep learning”, involves a lot more learning about Him than it does learning about life.
There are other scriptures that theologians and denominations argue about where there could be some potential for unity in Jesus if we just all saw this as a progression, as He will always be leading us deeper, so that He can have more fellowship with us, and we can have more fellowship with each other.
About that same time, the Lord gave me an opportunity to believe that about one of the more contentious scriptures 2 Tim 3:16 .
“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness,” (ESV)
Fortunately, it came up in the context of a vulnerable older man, whom I respected, and his love for a lifelong friend. This man had a lifelong friend. They were now in their 70s. And though one had followed Jesus from an early age, when he tried to explain salvation to his friend, the other would say “that is a matter of your interpretation”. Eventually, the man who I knew led him to 2 Tim 3:16, and said that it wasn’t a matter of his own interpretation, but God had provided assurance that He was actively involved in the creation of scripture. His friend’s response was “that is a matter of your interpretation”.
The man was broken hearted, and fearful for his friend. And, he asked our small group for prayer, and for God’s heart in this. I took it seriously, and asked God for perspective. And, the same mentor that I met with after the lawn mower incident, had taught me some things about empathetic listening, and agreement, where possible. So that is the path that I was led. I suggested to the man that the important verse was not 2 Tim 3:16, but “love never fails” from 1 Cor 13:8. He had loved his friend well, for a lot of years. And I was inspired to share with him where he could agree with his friend. All scripture is indeed inerrant. But, our understanding of it is not. And the inerrancy of scripture is not something that rests in the text but in the character of God. So my prayer for him and his friend was along the lines of John 16:13, that Holy Spirit would lead him into all truth, including Jesus opening the way to The Father, through His blood on the cross.
So, I have been brought to this dependence on Holy Spirit, and to the surety of His leading me into all truth. But, I just don’t know where I am in that path. And the more that I perceive the path to be about fellowship with Him, I am even less likely to value the dopamine hit that comes from reaching a conclusion about Taylor Welch, or Dan Mohler or Wendy Backlund and how that fits with Identity Exchange, our identities, and even my identity.
I will probably talk about my identity that God has given me more. But, He has given me pieces. And, I don’t know if they are more like pieces of a static puzzle, where He holds the box lid, or if they are more the old style animation that Disney(tm) used to do in the early cartoons. It may be the movement, and the memory with Holy Spirit that defines more of my identity.
Jesus Day by Day 